It is difficult for us to realize that this process of going inside and writing page can open an inner door through which our creator helps and guides us. Our willingness swings this inner door open. The morning pages symbolize our willingness to speak to and hear “our creator”. They lead us into many other changes that also come from the “Universe” and lead us to it “Presence”. This the hand of the “Higher Power” moving through your hand as you write. It is very powerful. “the Artist’s Way” Julia Cameron, Pg.85 *
For the past week or so I have been reciting the Basic Principles as well as the Rules of the Road as prayers or meditations! When I begin my body relaxes, my voice even shifts, my heart/soul fills up, almost to weeping. The joy that those words, those small sentences expresses to my heart is really beyond what language can convey!
Than I was directed to the opening quote. Upon reading it I knew it was time to write, write again. These pages have had their fits and starts. Hey the blog is titled the “reluctant bloger” after all. Recently it or I have lived up to its name.
I could have posted simple blogs with just poems/quotes and photographs. I could have filled these pages with daily accounts of the family’s experience of our Mother’s process of dying. The presence didn’t want me to go there. I used Facebook for support, that support was truly amazing! I am grateful for each person’s comments, the sending of healing, and course love. Love kept me sane, the love of complete strangers, well at least non-physical people, stepped up where friends and family would not or could not. In the case of crisis I go into social mode, hospitality mode. I suppose I was still in caregiver status in many ways. Yet finally freedom for the 24 hour caregiver position I had held for the past two years.
Mom’s going into rehab was her journey “homeward” once there she must have decided it was time. Within 2 months or less, the last week everything shut down. She was constantly cared for my nurses, hospice, family was around 24 hours a day. The waiting seemed to be endless and longer than the 2 years we had spend together, yet it was her time, her journey that we all had to respect and guide her to and through. That Monday Morning, which it is Monday now, I had just walked into the nursing home, as I walk up the hallway to her room, I saw the nurses coming from that direction, I knew before they told me. There was a sense of relief. My sister and my niece were there at bedside and had been for the final breath. I am sure a final sigh of relief from mom that she would finally get to the new adventure. Mom loved to travel, her travel took her all over the country, and even to Europe several times. Her new journey beyond this plane.
I got to the end of the last paragraph, I knew I was done. There is a sense of relief, and sense of new freedom. Of course the story goes on…
I am Blessed, and I am Love, Jeff
Mediative Question: What has your latest journey taken you through?
*( I used other expressions for God which Julie Cameron had not used in the opening quote.)
10 thoughts on “A Sense, a sense of knowing…”
Relief. New Freedoms. And yes, the story does indeed go on with you penning each new chapter. I’m excited to see where the storyline goes 🙂
yes each chapter is unfolding each day… Thank you so much!
good stuff jeff
all the best
Thank you so much!
Good morning Jeff so lovely to hear from our very own ‘Reluctant Blogger’ all good comes in small doses .
I have missed you …so sorry for your loss… my heart goes out to you . Look after YOU now and treat yourself well …a mum always want that for a son .
I love Julia Cameron to bits she speaks volumes to me . I write loads …since Jan 1st of this year I have wrote for about half an hour ,every morning without fail ,and I am now on my fourth novella …it really works and I love that time to myself .
We are self building a house in Wales and it is taking all my energy at the mo . It ‘s a huge journey to undertake and I am learning lots from it .
You take care Cherryx
So good to hear from you as well! I am glad to be inspired once again! Freeing the energy that has been stuck way tooo long ! I did the Artist’s Way sometime ago, the blog is an extendition of that practice!
I am sure the building of a house is a major process!
I love that you mention how your mom liked to travel and enjoyed adventure. Blessings to her on her current road to another place. Blessings and love to you, too, dear Jeff.
Hugs from Ecuador,
Always glad to see you visit!
Mom was an explorer… chasing history… I am getting back on my right path Kathy, not that the most recent was not the right path for that moment!
Blessing and Hugs
Listening to your higher power as it shares through you, Jeff. You have been through so much. Sending you many blessings…
Thank you Kathy! Blessing to you as well! I have bunch of your blogs to catch up on. really really I do! I am always glad to “see” you around !