unconscious truth!

The unconscious wants truth. It ceases to speak to those who want something more than truth. Adrienne Rich

Twisted strength

There seems to be such an anger within me these past 24 hours. It has been shadow dancing with me. Claiming my spirit, and my self-will. I stay away from people, places and things and the little monster still shows up, out of the blue, seeming to make the simple things difficult, difficult things a source of fire I don’t even desire to go near.

Yet according to the stars and planets it is my time to shine, as a Leo, it is anyway. But instead I am hiding out. What is it about all those everyday adventure that I wrote about yesterday has been gripped in fear of getting them done?

I need to find the light in all of this, I am going to cast my light on this shadow and find out what it wants, why it is still there. It seems like the joy and enchantment I was feeling and experience last week has caused an opposite to present itself. Ego screaming you are not allowed to be enchanted, you are not supposed to find joy in everyday experiences. I say Boo to you ego, Boo! You need to get in step here, I have love to share, joy to spread, art to create and your dancing on my toes! We need some new choreography. This does not have to be painful or difficult, it can be fun, creative, joyous… Trust me!

Beauty in the drought

In chapter 10 of The Artist’s Way Julia Cameron writes; “In a creative life droughts are a necessity. The time in the desert brings us clarity and charity. When you are in a drought know that it has a purpose. And keeping writing your morning pages. To write is to right things. Sooner or later – always later than we like – our pages will bring things right. A path will emerge. An insight will be a landmark that shows the way out of the wilderness”

The biggest thing on my mind this morning was to write, no matter the anger and or frustration I was feeling, the concern over the computer, once again I was and am having difficulties with my pass word working. I worked on it this morning a bit, I hope I have gotten things cleared up.

 

This has not necessarily been a creative drought or block it has been an emotional spiritual dry spot. I may not have photographed a much yet I have been inthralled with Bystander: A History of Street Photography,it has been a source of history, creative input, lessons about photographers, to cameras.

Viewing or pursuing

How the photographers where influenced by either their art training or the style of art of the day. It seems many early photographers took up the camera to make pictures of the area in which they wished to paint. Gave them a moment stopped in time, the light and shadows aren’t changing. Some photographers used different cameras to get a different feel for a shot. Other photographers where working for the city or state to capture moments in history of areas of city streets and buildings that were about to be demolished and rebuilt.

At the Fair

What I have learned through this process is how to look at a photograph, what am I seeing, am I seeing the whole picture? It has also caused me to think about why I am attracted to street/candid photography as a way of photographing as well as a form of art, how do I make this more conscious in my my creating?

I am sure I have cycled through these places before, and will again. The drought doesn’t last, and even while there there is beauty in it dust. For there is light in the darkness or darkness within the light!

A quote from Meister Eckhart, “Truly, it is in the darkness that one finds the light, so when we are in sorrow, then this light is nearest of all to us.”

Growth question: When in your darkness can you see the light? I the light can you dance with the shadows?

 

engaged in becoming…

Enchantment invites us to pause and to be arrested by whatever is before us; instead of our doing something, something is done to us. This is the way of the soul, which is primarily the receptive power in us; by letting ourselves be slowed down and affected by nature, we are fashioned into persons of substance, even if at a more active, conscious level we are forcefully engaged in becoming something else.  Thomas Moore.

into the moment!

My thoughts are to just offer the above words and photographs like I did yesterday yet at another level there is more creative juice desiring to be expressed.  The words and ideas in Re-enchantment are so refreshing in so many ways… offering views I have not witnessed for a while. If that makes sense.

The heat had made going outside so oppressive that spending time photographing anything was not really an option, the moments being outside where more to get from one place to another, but never really to enjoy, for the pleasure of a walk was taken away by 100 plus degree heat, the stillness where birds didn’t even sing, the sadness of the plants all dry and dropping along the paths, making one wonder why they are even still alive at all, they have to be really reaching down into their wells for a hint of water.

To keep my well juiced I have found sources of refreshing language, inspiring lives, creative work of people who are creative artist themselves. I heard the message to pick up “The Re-Enchantment of Everyday Life” I had a copy that has been sitting in pile in my room, but I had come across the volume a few times in other places. I have had this book for years, I had even begun to read it but put it down because I was not ready for it than. There was a time because of my love affaire with Conversations with God books, other spiritual books lacked much interest or felt unappealing, even through many books are suggested by Neale Donald Walsch/God throughout the Conversations with God series.

in the details

Re-Enchantment along with Pronoia the wondrously outrageous writings of Rob Brezsny the river of ideas, inspiration, creativity have bathed me in renewing activity of the senses. That included a trip to the Town Center formerly the Mall, to a week-long used book sale with my friend Linda, which included a journey over to the library so she could use their computers while I perused the videos and books-selves.  Finding the selection of videos a bit wanting I headed the Photography section, and glad I did! First of all, the light in the area had been fixed, second the selves were neat and orderly, not always the case in under visited areas of the library.  I had just bought a half a dozen books so why was I looking for more books? Why was I in the photography section, the line of books informed me of that. I found a biography of Ansel Adams, not someone I am really drawn too but someone I thought could shed some light of photography and nature. Plus there is the wondrous “street photography” book, Bystander: A History of Street Photography, an over sized packed to the gills with wondrous photographs from the late 1800, into the 1970’s.

Grand moments

So I get to travel back and forth in places around the world, capturing moments of city streets, everyday moments and moments that caused history to change. I get to read about a man who was not only a photographer, a nature photographer, considered to be one of the finest nature photographers, but also a life long member of the Sierra Club .

an opening.

I thought there was more to this… it didn’t feel finished but I am going to let it go now! ( a few hours after writing).