Tag Archives: owl

Without Love

without love
there can be no joy or happiness
no beauty
no harmony in the world
even if hundreds of raindrops fall from the cloud
no secret pearls can be found in the sea
without the rhythms of love

~Mevlana Rumi

Owl appearance

It has been days since I blogged, wrote my pages… I don’t know where the days went or do I? The last I recall I was going to Woodstown NJ to pick up photographs from the exhibit there, we lost our exhibit space at Beans Coffee due to back payment of taxes, etc. So the Salem County Art League is scouting out new venues as well as having conversations about all of that. The drive is about a half hour south of home, not a bad ride, scouted out some places I could photograph, this area is farm land but fast beginning to see the expanding sprawl of suburbia… sad really.

I got back from that journey, I had three photographs in that exhibit, I thought only two, switch out them out to use new photographs for the exhibit, after having lunch, I have come to realize I need to eat smaller meals, yet more often, to take the edge off, to keep my sugar in it proper balance and not lost energy and half the day recovering from a crash.

I had all of the collection together by Thursday evening, Friday morning which was a relief to have made the choices and all the selections convey a sense of who I am as an artist. Ranging from beautiful Nature, to the wonderful nature of human kind, and the GLBT community, and the dark rumbled halls of the Eastern State Penitentiary. Lightness and darkness, shadow and light play their themes here, evolution, community, beauty the surrounds us yet sometimes unseen and maybe taken for granted?

Friday was more of a down day, collecting myself, my thoughts, my energy… While driving on Thursday morning I heard an announcement that, singer/song writer Shawn Colvin was to be performing at Copper River park, an outdoor free concert that the Camden County Freeholders supports in different parks around the county. I have been a fan of Shawn Colvin since her first CD, have seen her perform at last four times . So I took the opportunity to head out to the park to listen and take photographs. I was glad I did, it was a great performance, have some great shots, stage/performance photography is something I really enjoy doing, there is a different challenge to it then other forms of photography. Capturing the performer in their element, their emotion, the desire and bliss can be viewed in their performance as well as on their faces. It is an awesome experience to be in that creativity, the energy of letting the creativity flow and be shared.

The guy who opened for Shawn, Ryan something or other, I have to find out his name, a young man, looking very California beach, singer song writer, and performed a couple of songs, then shared a bit of his story to go long with the songs. What he said rung true for me and I think for many artist, he said he was at is office job always thinking about his music, missing work because he was out performing and finally realized writing/performing was his love, was where he was supposed to be.

Saturday morning I had the rude awakening that I had to wire some of the photographs, meaning I had to put eye hooks on them and find wire, which I did not think I had. I did, and there was one last piece I wanted to use, a black and white shot of night life in the city, very gritty and urban, at first the forces where not with me on this and then they shifted, and things began to flow, got that all together. By mid morning it had begun to rain, yet I had to travel to Philly to drop the collection off, I could not hold onto it any longer, it was finished. If I kept it I would begin to second guess this shot or that. So it was time… In the rain, the highway to the bridge was a wet grey journey, not a lot of traffic but enough to make things a bit slow and dangerous where it was difficult to see. I got to the center well enough found a place in front of the building parked on the street, I would only be a short time, and I was. I left the two photographs that had been on exhibit for the new collections as well.

Saturday Rain

What a relief that was to get the work to the gallery, to leave it in their capable hands, now all I had to do is show up on Friday. I got home and realized the contract was sitting on the table which I meant to take with me! Yikes… Well I was going over on Sunday, I would take it then… I  did take then, I had to remind myself to do that first as soon as I got off the train to head to the Center. My friend Doug/Marshall was tending the space and he was all excited… saying “look, look you got the whole big wall!” I was like what the photos are up already! To my grand surprise there they where all my photographs stretched across the main wall. Wow! I was not crazy about the positions of some of them and then realized one of them was missing, “Faces of Marriage” which was my center piece shot for the GLBT collection, and come to find out that it is on the post card the center had printed for the announcement and run of the show!  I was wondering what was up with that? I have a feeling that Candice has another plans of the piece, because the other photographs shot that is on the post cards was not on her wall either.

announcement card

I so sought to write everyday, yet it would not come, for some reason or other, being too tried, saturday my connection was down on my computer and I had to wait for Jim to get home and then it was dinner and the night just got away. yesterday was an afternoon in the city and other things need to be done for venturing forth. So finally getting here to write, express, and reveal the extent of the past few days, even through I know I have not captured the feeling behind all that has gone before, I think everything will come in the perspective of time, and the meditation of the moments as they unfold in silence.

Wall of exhibition

Growth Question: Do you find a question here that ask you something about the way you get things done, is there conscious feelings or emotion around them?

I am Love, Jeff

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Social Hangover/Forgiveness Healing

Great Horned Owl

“An Affirmation is a strong, positive statement that something is already so.” Shakti Gawian

Therefore I will lead this blog/morning pages with a creative affirmation “My Creativity leads me to forgiveness and self-forgiveness.”

Because today I am going to Time Travel, making a list of old people and situations that caused doubt to my creative self-worth.

Mother Superior in Grade school

Sister who taught freshmen art

Parents

Easton Mountain Community

So here is my old enemies, written down in my Monster Hall of Fame as The Artist’s Way calls it. Then we are asked to write one of the horror stories from the “monster hall of fame”.

The Art teacher freshmen year in high school had given us a project to do for Christmas, I am not sure what the parameters were at this time. I created  a soft sculptor of the Nativity with cones or cardboard support inside of old sheets/cloth that I molded and shaped as Mary and Joseph, and baby Jesus. Arranged in a sense of admiration to baby. Spray painted everything gold, until my fingers and wrist where sore. I was pretty proud of what I created, yet upon presentation the reception of my work was discussed like it was a pile of trash, unrecognizable, and a mess. I was extremely hurt and never took another art class again.

in flight!

I was a child of what 13/14 years old, looking for at least encouragement and or critical review that would be constructive not destructive any drive or desire to be creative.

So my affirmation for the day is to forgive them and myself to use my creativity as a positive force to experience healing and wholeness in the art that I create and share with the world.

Laurie my Life Coach asked my some questions about a term I used on a previous blog “social hangover” . So I am going to answer her questions here, it will flesh out the meaning and the experience , I hope.

What does it (Social Hangover) mean to you–please be specific?

It means when I return to my own space, usually doing the next 24 hours I feel drained, overwhelmed, in need of quiet  and self-reflection. Is there an excess too much in the company of others? Yes, too much 3, 4, 5 way conversation, energy that just whirls around, settling nowhere, yet spinning energy.

Who (typically) does it happen from–everyone you spend time with,or specific people? Not specific people in general, it is usually the amount of people around, at parties, or events that I am interacting with.

Where does it happen? As I wrote above generally in lager groups of people, where I will be interacting with them in a contain space, with a lot of conversation, talking, extraneous noise. I notice when I go to the market/food store I become somewhat distracted, confused, unable to get may bearings. I have to stop and breathe, reconnect to myself and what my purpose is there.

When did you notice this occurrence? I think I first noticed it when I began to be social sober, and a group of us use to go to a diner for dinner, the space was loud, bright, the conversations of five or six of us all going at once. I remember at the time making a comment about it afterward to a friend, that one on one conversations were a better fit for me. I than noticed it more at Easton when we had a group of 40 or so for the weekend and we where constantly in service to them, for three meals a day, interacting with them in area of hospitality . Once the event was over I had to go and seek quiet, and healing in whatever form I could find, walking in the wood, reading, sleeping.

Why does this occur? I think in a part of me is a loner, my mother says as a child I would get back in the playpen, to have my own space, my own things. I believe in someway I was meant to be a Monk. I enjoy the silence, being alone, I enjoy the space I create for myself to Be, to read, to think, to observe.

Moist Peach

I am not sure if that really answers the questions but it was a worthy journey to walk down to vision why if feel or act in certain ways at certain situations. As a Leo one would think I would be all out there charming, getting attention, shinning brightly on those worthy of my Leo charm. Yet I am somewhat of a reserved Lion it seems. Yet the Soul Horoscope is suggesting it is time for us Leo to work on our social network, to reorganize what we want from that area of our lives. Something I really am looking into and accepting in bigger doses of time and energy.

Bee Busy

“My Creativity leads me to forgiveness and self forgiveness”

Growth Question: Do you hear the voice of your creative enemies when beginning or working on a project?

I am Love, Jeff

Photos Here