“To believe in God or in a guiding force because someone tells you to is the height of stupidity. We are given senses to receive our information with. With our own eyes we see, and with our skin we feel. With our intelligence, it is intended that we understand. But each person must puzzle it out for himself or herself.” Sophy Burnham
I was drawn back to Gay Soul: Finding the Heart of Gay Spirit and Nature. Interviews by Mark Thompson. It is Gay Pride month when Pride Marches and events all over the world happen to allow GLBT people to gather in ritual created by a riot at the Stonewall Bar due to suppression, in the form of raids on “Gay” bars own by the Mafia.
I marched with the Radical Faeries a few years ago from Thompson Park to the Stonewall Bar the evening before the Gay Pride Parade in NYC. I happy haphazard march is the Faerie Stonewall March, but proud all the way ,non-commercialized, gathering of spirit of men who honor the ancestors who step out of their heels to fight back, to stand for their lives and identities as gay people and people who matter too!
As I search and claim my identities as a spiritual man and the gay spirit that informs me in ways that I have danced for many years! Strange thing is I have not self-defined those Identities. So groups and or communities I belonged to family, Roman Catholic, male, gay, recovering alcoholic, healer, creative, and photographer. In order of awareness of these identities but not in priority of meaning or purpose in my life. Yet I think my spirituality informed me before I was aware of my sexuality, I was drawn to church yet more on a deeper level of worship and or ritual. Yet the church informed me that being a homosexual was unacceptable, that I was a sinner, hey I was a sinner way before than. So what the heck. Walking away from ‘religion’ to find my soul in the bottom of a bottle and the arms sexual encounter confused for love informed my life for many years, there was not pride, there was not thought, just doing, no consciousness around why.
Recovering reconnected me to God, which informed me of my spirit infused from birth as a child of God, a creative being, with Love as a purpose, Love as the guide, Love not in a special relationship but the Love in the relationship to inner self, and all the journey that entailed. To claim my Twinship which Mitch Walker speaks of in Gay Spirit, he states “It is when you’re born to spirit world and the physical world simultaneously through the archetypal erotic Twinship.” So my goal and or journey has been to rediscover that part of my identity. Another quote from Mitch Walker that resonated with me because of my wounds and healing journey expresses …“it is hard to establish a more mature attitude around these issues because not only do the individuals involved have to work on their own inner shadows — their own unfinished business – but as soon as they do that enough they become the enemy and are demonized by others.”
As I begin to attract others who are on their path, create a circle of friends and artists that are supportive and understanding I am encouraged to move beyond the blocks of fear, self-doubt created by the voices I heard from those who did not understand the spirit that I have expressed for years.
This evening I have two solstice gatherings to attend one here in NJ with local people I don’t know, and another in Philly with Radical Faeries, my tribe, most whom I do know. I make this statement because I seem to be undecided to which to attend. The group in NJ is a connection I wish to make but it may not be the time? The group in Philly is a place where I can be more authentic allowing my spirit to be present.
I have to give this blog/pages up, it has linger too long, and now it seems to forced. I kept getting interrupted by the dogs, family, the flow has been disturbed.
Growth Question: When did you first hear spirit and begin to take action?
I am Love, Jeff