Suddenly I seemed to have awakened once again from dancing with shadows only to arrive here now. Into a normal day, if Saturdays are ever normal, Holy Saturday in fact, of the Easter/Passover weekend. The weekend is also in high vibrational shift astronomically with the Second of three Eclipse in the year, over a full Moon.
I have been artistically block or shut down, I kept making photo, I kept at the creative work yet it was feeling numb about most of what I was doing, when I was doing it.
Just now I came in from a photography walk with Muffin, our first walk of the day, I was feeling excited and thrilled to have gone out to make photos this morning, which begun out the apartment windows. The clouds and light was just magnificent among the cityscape I could no longer resist. I had not real subject in mind when headed out the door with zoom lens attached, I knew it would be useful if the water fowl were about or whatever else came across my vision.
The excitement of what I felt was a welcomed friend, I knew that I just was in the process of creation, whether there are any good photos among these shots it really matters not. The essence is that process happen out of pure joy of Being present in the world. I was not escaping from anything, I was not seeking anything, I was just following my bliss.
I am not sure I conveyed the experience or the relief properly, my objective was to make a statement “that the path has opened up for me once again”
I was not looking for the moment, I was not trying to make something happen, Suddenly It and I was there! Suddenly the recognition was there, that Ah Ha Moment! Pure pure Bliss!!
For days now I have been feeling like I am holding my breath… It seems like I have to remind myself to breathe, breathe deeper, and more consciously… which does let go of some of the tenseness, tightness I am feeling. Not sure where this is emulating from, only aware that is has been part of my being in the past few days. Something is the movement of the planets and stars perhaps, something that I have put off or forgotten to do?
I was going to post Faith Hill’s “Breathe”, and went to youtube to find it upon listening to the song the sentiment was not what I was looking for, even though I love the song, at the moment it did not fit. Okay than! Lost track of where I was going, Muffin asked to go on our second walk, the weather pattern is changing to wind and rain, I was out side, so had to come in after our walk… with books, laptop, coffee and dogs into the house, shifting once again into the space, it takes time, for outside is open, breathable, air blowing wind and Sunday morning sounds, of lawnmowers, and the owners curses, cars coming and going for the parking lot behind me, reminding me I am not alone in the world, even though I am alone in the little world I have created from the moments of inspiration, thoughtful introspection, finding words and language that stir the emotion, cause thought to turn into action, a way of being in the world on a moment to moment basis.
“breath is the link between the body and mind between the conscious and unconscious mind. It is the master key to the control of emotions and to the operations of the involuntary nervous system. Moreover, breath represents movement of spirit in matter. Turning your attention to your breath moves you naturally toward relaxations and meditation puts you in conscious touch with your vital, nonphysical essence.” States Dr Andrew Weil in 8 Weeks to Optimum Health in the first week of this life changing practice. So why am I not breathing more freely? The question is to be answered with creating time and place to do some breathwork.
Even while writing and moving about to consciously breathe, in and out, slowly and deeply, feeling the movement if nothing else. Breathe!
Breathe in the Love.
Breathe out the jive.
Breathe in the mystery.
Breathe out the history.
Breathe in the luminosity.
Breathe out the grandiosity.
P.S. I changed my mind about adding the Faith Hill song, but use a performance with Carlos Santana !
True Life is lived when tiny changes occur. Leo Tolstoy
At 2 am I was awakened by something, I thought it was thunder, and then I heard Riley’s little bark of wanting, he has different barks for different needs or wants. Really! So I came down to check on him, and both the dogs were awake, not anxious but awake. So I got the sense they wanted to go for a walk, so dressed and went out into the 79 degree humid heat of the night, not a breeze to stir the dusty leaves, it was almost silent, a few late night birds, I thought I heard the owl in the deeper part of the wood. The whoosh of traffic on the turnpike, less than a mile away, was the sound of life on the move in the darkness of the night. Nothing eventful during our sojourn around the edge of the wood in the field where you could feel the coolness in some area’s rather than in others. Back to the house, the dogs tucked in once again. I went to my room, and found a copy of The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, it has been on my mind to re-read because a Faerie friend is having a book discussion circle in which I would like to attend and having knowledge of the book once again would be helpful. I am aware of the Four Agreements
Or stated as affirmations, Just for today I release all anger. Just for today I release all worry. I show gratitude for my blessing. I earn my living with integrity. I honor every living thing.
These are great agreements or precepts or affirmations to live by, to guide one through their day and living rightly as the buddhist would say. Yet here I was in the middle of the night or early morning reading The Four Agreements being confronted by the language, the words that I was not finding impeccable, without sin, is what impeccable means. What I was experiencing with reading first 46 pages was darkness, the pain, the sadness of the worlds situation as Don Miguel was explaining the Domestication and the Dream of the Planet in chapter 1 as well as continued well into the explanation of Be Impeccable with your word in chapter two. I even begun to look for the light that was supposed to shine in this book, within these so-called impeccable words, and it was difficult for me to find. I went to the later part of the book and chapter 6 The Toltec Path to Freedom Breaking Old Agreements to find some relief and still found no peacefulness within this book!
It seems to be fighting the shadows, it seems to be breaking the behavior and even mass rebellion out of our darkness, out of our dream state that was not our own dream but the dream of those who came before us, family, friends, teachers, etc. It is so unlike, Conversations with God, so unlike The Artist’s Way and so many other more positive, humorous, Love expressed paths to finding our way along our journey of healing, of re-covery, of discovery of who we are. Spiritual Beings have a human experience, God experiencing creation through the mind of man, God experiencing creation through creating.
I awoke with this denseness in my solar plexus which I felt as we walk our first walk of the day, really our second, in the mugginess of the still dry dusty wood. I had to conscious move into that place to breathe, to heal, to honor who I am now. Through this process and a thought that I remember having earlier as I was reading, you are no longer in that place, you know longer believe the “dream” of the collective unconsciousness of the planet. That the light shine for you and from you. You are not whole but your healing has taken your closer to your presence, closer to who you really are! The Creative being, the loving being that you are is evident in your life and in your being, through your art and through your presence.
Thank you! I Love you!
Growth Question: Is your word impeccable? Is your life a shinning example of who your are being? Please share your experience.