As I move forward

With positive direction, creative purpose, inventive as well as life challenges that will create abundance in other areas of my life. Stepping up meetings, beginning to build fellowship again, clearing the path and vision of how to show up in the world. Not just show up, to Be in the world, to offer the world ideas and actions to make changes, oh changes, those are why I am here, today, why I am writing and speaking, going live today. Every time we set out to make changes, I know this is true for me, you may have noticed it yourselves. You know when you make those plans, goals are set, your behavior and attitude have shifted to a positive view of what you’re doing, the challenges are fun more than they are fearful? Your happy self “goes yes, we got this, we can do this! ” Than bam! Some one little remark, chips away, the ten people you reached to 2 gave a tentative yes, 2 said no or thank you I already good with this, the other seven, not response to your calls or PM’s.

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You feel like you placed a lot of yourself out there, it felt good in a hope that the others would respond, even at meetings I have sat there unable to communicate with the men about sports, or the job or really have I shared, I was actively listening and hearing the wonder and miracle of AA, hearing and seeing true spirituality grow with the desire to give it away to keep it. These tools to practice the program of recovery, the program of living are amazing life changing behaviors and attitudes only effective when a conscious effort is placed in spirit to guide us to do the right thing.

Well while doing the right thing, challenging habits that I seem to fall into by getting into action has created an opposite reaction, emotionally and even physically. First it was a cold, than most recently a blockage in my urinary track, that is a congenital issue, that causes me to reassess medical issues I have put into place. The cold I managed with natural solutions which has relieved cough, congestion, which still is a bit shaky in the morning, the continued use of natural products assist with that while I manage my day.

Fear, doubt, frustration, standing still, a bit of loneliness where the desire to have friends to talk to that get me, the support and understand this process. I missed being touched, held and/or hugged. It is odd I have gotten nothing but support and encouragement when needed, when ask for or shared about. Yet what does my mind do? My mind says this is too hard, it ask why have you exposed yourself to this again? Aren’t you better off where you were, what are you  doing?  This isn’t going to work, you can’t invest any more money into this unless you see some return for your efforts.

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Why is this so difficult to write? The shadow has shown itself, in doubt even in ego, in fear of failure, or may be even of success. The exposure to the world, reminds me of what I missed, yet didn’t miss it when I was not exposed to it.

This is inventory taking, this is areas of my life that I have to work on, and continue to do so. Without the support, encouragement, positive attitude none of this works.

My purpose in life is to share my gifts in whatever manner they present themselves, which is my photography, my ability to take a recipe, create it, style it for presentation, I have the ability and the experience of using essential oils in my life for the past 2 years, which have assisted my health and wellness in many ways. My recovery is the main spring of all of those gifts to materialise in ways I can not imagine. So it is one step at a time, my doubts, fears, and frustrations have been illuminated before and they shall be again. They are guides to look forward, while making amends to myself and others whom I may have harmed in my disconnected from the world.

Moving forward, being the influencer of our own change is an exciting and thrilling adventure while being frightening to leave the old behind yet know that you have left the old behind because it no longer worked for you, it no longer offered anything but sameness, worries and fears of a different type. Allow spirit to guide you, allow spirit of purpose to enlighten your path, allow the Universe show up in all it glory and wonder so that the world can see that they too can accomplish their goal, their dreams can become reality! And so it is.

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11 thoughts on “As I move forward”

  1. Isn’t writing a delicious therapy Jeff . Just putting those letters on the screen ( or old fashioned pen to paper) just has the ability to free us . I can’t tell you how many times it’s has worked for me and it appears to work for you too.
    You are doing amazingly well keep strong ❤️
    Cherryx

    1. Sometimes yes, sometimes not so much, yet I make the time most days. All do not end up published as this has been. Yet the words found expression. Thank you Cherry, as move forward! (((Hugs)))

  2. Listening to what you’re saying, and nodding. I know what you mean about the happy self with all that energy, and how easy it can be for that to erode as we listen to what others have to say. How to nurture and tend and support ourselves with confidence. It’s a never-ending challenge, I think.

    1. Kathy,

      Thank you! Our journey is never ending and ever evolving as well as expanded, sometimes we get caught up in all the otherness, seemingly content where we are, until we are not. Thus the situation I arrived at.
      I am Love, Jeff

    1. Wow! Thank you so much! I haven’t had a reply here for sometime. Plus these blog post are a year old. I seem to be using my writing for content on Instagram rather than here… Thank you again, it very kind of you!

      1. I think I found you via Kathy Drue’s post. Or another one. I like how we bloggers comment to each other, and read each other’s comments. I’ll need to connect with you via Instagram.

      2. Yes well is the way blogging is suppose to work. Yes connected through Kathy or Laurie. I might of followed you because of writing blog…

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