The passages below are semi stream of consciousness from my Morning pages, so if there is rambling and not completely clear that is the reason why. I have desired to blog for a while now, I can’t believe it has been almost a month and my intention was to write at least once a week. I think it is the morning pages that fill the need to blog as often, yet MP’s are like talking to yourself and I enjoy sharing what is going on in my life and artistic creations. So here are words from this mornings pages.
August 30th 2015, 7:03 AM
The page is blank to be filled but not to be filled with blankness or just ordinary words and language that goes nowhere or says nothing. The page should shine, the page can sing, the page can dance, as well as create beauty to be held and shared with the world around it for the music magic to dance and sing our songs to create beauty with beauty is there for us all to behold, to unwrap, to envision even more magical beauty, mystical visions that are real. The blank page has that opportunity to transform, to enlighten, and to shine out into the world. One only has to write the words, create the language imbued with so much passion that the world sighs, the universe illuminates the capacity to love a 1000 fold or infinitely.
Yet our human mind and ego or at least mine is always searching for the “right” moment, the right time, seeking to be inspired to write, asking what does the world wish to know, what do I have that others wish to read or experience shared that would somehow bless those who understand. Who am I to even consider such a task, who am I to know that I am worthy of such an undertaking. Knowing all art is created because the artist has the desire or passion to place an object, a painting, a photograph, or music or any dozens of other creations into the universe. I suppose I am trying to understand my purpose to self-publish a photography book with text of quotes and poetry, seeking to come to grips with my hesitancy to do such a project. First I do it for me, because I was called to do it, and I have the opportunity to create this first book in all its imperfections, in all its stumbling and challenges because it is an area of creativity I don’t have any real knowledge of. You do have a book, you have the instructions on the template for the book making process from Blurb, and you just have to make the effort to be involved. It is like any relationship, and you are playing “push me, pull me” you want it but you don’t know how to be in it, something is generating from this project that is brilliant and beautiful, your fear and doubt are only road blocks keeping you from putting it together.
That is the blank pages, the book has a cover, one that doesn’t even have to be the cover yet it is vision, the starting point to begin. Writing each day is the blank page to publishing your blog whether you believe others wish to read what you have to say or even considering what you want to say. Being truthful, being authentic even in all the imperfections, admitting I don’t know what I am doing, meeting the challenge anyway. The blank page of the “Trash Project” has another page added to it as well, four unseen prints, looking for mats and frames, desiring release, a release that would open new doors, if not new at least other avenues to venture on to. These are all exciting creations, let them shine; now is the time for their moment in the world.
the reluctant bloger 
That’s true. I think you should publish your book because now is the time for it to come into this world – the birth of your idea brought to fruitation and it is something in your heart and mind that you want to share with the world. 🙂
Joy,
Thank you! The process is started, it has just been in waiting mode for the past week, the book that is. The Trash Project is beginning to see the light of day in print and exhibition soon!
Wow, that is wonderful Jeff!! Good for you for writing a book!
I love reading your internal contemplations Jeff and it will happen. I just know it will!
Terrill,
These are my goals now, my passions to create.
Thank you !
Morning Jeff I find morning pages soothing too thank you for sharing yours with us
Cherryx
Thank you Cherry!
I understand the desire and the doubts. I understand having a vision. I understand even feeling that vision as solid when it isn’t yet. I’ve a little experience with Blurb. My oldest son wrote his first book there because he wanted it to be in print with a cover. He did the cover art himself as well as writing his story and it has been well received, even by adults although he was only 12 yrs old at the time he wrote it.
Within is a belief that I will be commercially published and that is turning out to be enormously complicated but I just keep taking the next logical step. I see it as part of a long range career path. I don’t know if I will find myself there but one has to take actual steps or it will never happen. One becomes aware of wanting to accomplish some thing and so believes there is a reason, a purpose.
I think what I have “learned” has made my life better and I am so grateful for that understanding that I wish to make it available in the off chance it will somehow serve another person’s making their life better. Sometimes that feels incredibly arrogant – who am I to think I have such a value ?
So the doubts mean that I am left with something you realized in this blog. I write because I really can’t stop myself from doing it – because I’ve known I am a writer since about the age of 20. It’s like you know you are a photographer – how ? – you take photographs and you show them to other people. I write and thankfully at least a few people actually read it.
I’ve been told what I write is very deep. I don’t know if it was a compliment or a criticism – does it mean what I write is hard for most other people to understand ? I hope not. I try to be clear but it is simply what flows through these fingers – like WOW – I can’t believe so much flowed through these fingers in response to what you wrote here.
Fondly !!
I knew you would get it, understanding the process is a key to moving forward. Just because we know we have something to share with the world doesn’t makes us arrogant it allows us to shine out light out into the world. If others see it great! If they read it great, if it in someway inspires or shifts something them or the consciousness of the world even better.
The simple fact is the choice and desire to place our creations out into the universe!
Thank you Deb ((Hugs))
Can you link your Son’s book somewhere?
Sweet of you to ask. It is under my name at Blurb but it is his book. The title is The Undead House – http://www.blurb.com/b/4794629-the-undead-house
Deb,
For some reason I had not responded to your comment here. I am now back to arranging the nature photography/quote book that I had written about here and then got distracted. The creation of the book, the first one is to create, to make it real, to challenge myself, my creativity and move beyond the fear of not knowing what I am doing. and just “do it” as they say.
Your book will one day materialze as well, keep at, nurture it, and let go!
((Hugs))
Deb,
Thank you. The link leads to your “bio” but a pop up window says the book in not available any longer and when searching for it by name it does not come up!
Strange as it came up for me and I could read it online. Maybe because it hasn’t been active ? I will contact Blurb and see what I can find out. Thanks for checking it and letting me know !!
Glad to help Deb!
Jeff — I enjoy your PERSPECTIVE and VISION!
Thank you Laurie!
There is certainly a metaphysical slant to these soulful ruminations, and I much admire the direction you are taking, Jeff. There are emotions and thought spasms, and plenty more than the literal jargon so many of us opt for. Fantastic!
Sam,
Thank you! I like your response to this blog and my “soulful ruminations”!
There is no right time to writer or publish, and there is no wrong time. The time is NOW – if it’s in your heart.
Pamela,
Yes I am becoming more and more aware of just that feeling or active process. Thank you for commenting! It means a lot!