The unconscious wants truth. It ceases to speak to those who want something more than truth. Adrienne Rich
There seems to be such an anger within me these past 24 hours. It has been shadow dancing with me. Claiming my spirit, and my self-will. I stay away from people, places and things and the little monster still shows up, out of the blue, seeming to make the simple things difficult, difficult things a source of fire I don’t even desire to go near.
Yet according to the stars and planets it is my time to shine, as a Leo, it is anyway. But instead I am hiding out. What is it about all those everyday adventure that I wrote about yesterday has been gripped in fear of getting them done?
I need to find the light in all of this, I am going to cast my light on this shadow and find out what it wants, why it is still there. It seems like the joy and enchantment I was feeling and experience last week has caused an opposite to present itself. Ego screaming you are not allowed to be enchanted, you are not supposed to find joy in everyday experiences. I say Boo to you ego, Boo! You need to get in step here, I have love to share, joy to spread, art to create and your dancing on my toes! We need some new choreography. This does not have to be painful or difficult, it can be fun, creative, joyous… Trust me!
In chapter 10 of The Artist’s Way Julia Cameron writes; “In a creative life droughts are a necessity. The time in the desert brings us clarity and charity. When you are in a drought know that it has a purpose. And keeping writing your morning pages. To write is to right things. Sooner or later – always later than we like – our pages will bring things right. A path will emerge. An insight will be a landmark that shows the way out of the wilderness”
The biggest thing on my mind this morning was to write, no matter the anger and or frustration I was feeling, the concern over the computer, once again I was and am having difficulties with my pass word working. I worked on it this morning a bit, I hope I have gotten things cleared up.
This has not necessarily been a creative drought or block it has been an emotional spiritual dry spot. I may not have photographed a much yet I have been inthralled with Bystander: A History of Street Photography,it has been a source of history, creative input, lessons about photographers, to cameras.
How the photographers where influenced by either their art training or the style of art of the day. It seems many early photographers took up the camera to make pictures of the area in which they wished to paint. Gave them a moment stopped in time, the light and shadows aren’t changing. Some photographers used different cameras to get a different feel for a shot. Other photographers where working for the city or state to capture moments in history of areas of city streets and buildings that were about to be demolished and rebuilt.
What I have learned through this process is how to look at a photograph, what am I seeing, am I seeing the whole picture? It has also caused me to think about why I am attracted to street/candid photography as a way of photographing as well as a form of art, how do I make this more conscious in my my creating?
I am sure I have cycled through these places before, and will again. The drought doesn’t last, and even while there there is beauty in it dust. For there is light in the darkness or darkness within the light!
A quote from Meister Eckhart, “Truly, it is in the darkness that one finds the light, so when we are in sorrow, then this light is nearest of all to us.”
Growth question: When in your darkness can you see the light? I the light can you dance with the shadows?
the reluctant bloger 
Jeff – I’m especially drawn to this statement that you made: “The drought doesn’t last, and even while there, there is beauty in it dust.”
Growth question: When in your darkness can you see the light? In the light can you dance with the shadows?
Yes, just like in dancing, there’s a time to embrace the bittersweet, and a time to release. The trick is to gracefully flow with the rhythm so no toes get stepped on.
laurie,
Seeking to find the light in the day, rather than have the shadow cast it’s gloom over it…
Cool statement “The drought doesn’t last, and even while there, there is beauty in it dust.”
To practice our dance so we don’t get our toes stepped on! Thats the way!
As I was reading your post, Jeff, it occurred to me that nature and street photography have something in common, at least to my perception. In the woods there is always a mix of new growth and decay, and in the city it is the same. Old and new people, buildings, events… You photograph both of these spheres very well, capturing significant moments in each.
I think even within our creative selves there is always something new growing and something else slipping away. Perhaps it’s what we’re noticing at the moment that gives us joy or a sense of loss…
Growth question: When in your darkness can you see the light? In the light can you dance with the shadows? Yes, yes! At some point it sunk in for me that life will always be a mix of ups and downs – I do believe in the silver linings in the dark clouds.
Barbara,
I understand your perception completely! Thank you for sharing that insight!
One of the things about street photography is the challenge and risk involved! Making pictures of nature is fairly tame, at least at this point in my life!
Yes our lives are a spiral that shifts around…
I have to say I really like these photographs! Now that I see them on here, I think they are darn good!
As a photographer and painter Jeff I am always aware of how light and shadow create an image. In life though I tend to be more unconscious or less deliberate of this play between light and dark. You and your writing are one of the ways I remind myself of the necessary and purposeful need for embracing shadows and breathing through them into the light or if in the light steadying my gaze into the dark recesses of my experience. I find your comfort-level with shadows and expressing your cloudy moments refreshing and freeing – freeing to acknowledge my own doubts, fears and angers. I particularly liked:
I say Boo to you ego, Boo! You need to get in step here, I have love to share, joy to spread, art to create and your dancing on my toes! We need some new choreography. This does not have to be painful or difficult, it can be fun, creative, joyous… Trust me!
Exactly!
Terrill,
Surprized to see you here! Grateful of course! I am glad my writing, my journey allows you to look at who you are. It certainly allows me to shine more light on who I am, who I wish to be.
I smiled at the line your quoted from my blog, I remember writing the Boo part, but the rest was a total moment of free flow writing ! It is truthful and humorous ! I love it!
Hi, Jeff. I lived in the deserts of Southwest Texas for 30 years. It is hard to hide in the desert, and if you don’t take good care of yourself, the desert will just cover you with sand and consume you. In periods of drought, most plants with any brains simply go dormant, waiting for the rain to come. Vacationing up here in the Grand Tetons of Wyoming (which is anything BUT a desert), I am struck at how much of me is responsible for my experience here. I am watching me from this third party position make decisions, formulate cause and effect, choose how to “be” with anything going on. In the mountainous shadows of the Grand Tetons, I see the opposing forces of light and dark, and how I would not recognize one without the other.
Barbara,
there are so many metaphors for this process, we could spend all day going through them. Drought, desert, walking the path, Mountains and valleys, it is all about knowing where you are when you are there.
Being in physcial place reminds us of the risk, and adventure.
Writing/blogging is the process of seeing or viewing myself from a different perspective, that one of its purposes. Like doing a 10th step everyday or so…
Beautiful photos, and you really capture the sense of place of your Vermont town!
I’m so happy I clicked through from Kathryn’s blog … amazing!!
Thank you Betty for stopping by a very grateful ! I don’t really live in Vermont but am visiting for the moment…
As a Leo, I’ve learned that it’s ok to crawl back into the den once in awhile! We shine all the more for it later. 😉
Beautiful sentiments here… poetically worded.
I’m going to have to read The Artist’s Way very soon!
Thank you! I am just getting home from 3 weeks in Vermont, so I will comment more later!