Am I looking for the right words or right thoughts to compose this blog? Yes, but there are no correct thoughts or words expect the ones that flow from your heart to your mind through to your fingers, making something happen.
For two days now I have awakened with a sense of, I am going to use the word depression, another friend used the word dread, yet I would not call the sensation either one of those really. Maybe loss or emptiness, maybe just a letting go of something that I am unaware of letting go of during sleep. Is that possible? Anything is possible.
It could be that after 12 years or so I had to change my email address, and I have not figured out or done the work yet to retrieve old addresses and messages. I also had to change me Facebook page when I went to change me password there because it was asking for an odd system to have three friends vouch that I am who I say I am, with a code # that is messaged to them… only one person as done so. So many of my contacts on face book have been discontinued, much of the messages that I had emailed to me are gone. In some ways this is freeing in others it is disconcerting.
Also my laptop needs some maintenance, I think a fan is malfunctioning for it over heats quickly and the cursor jumps around on the page when writing etc. Oy ! It feels like everything at once, oh yeah I have to renew my drivers license, which really needed to be done sometime ago because I have been using my NY State license since I moved here. Here is another thing, I am coming up on my birthday and it will be my last year in my 50’s. It is difficult enough understanding that I am 50 anything let alone going to be 59!!
Well maybe with all of that off my chest, out here is cyber space, I will relax, and just move on.