Push hard to get better, become smarter, grow your devotion to the truth, fuel you commitment to beauty, refine your emotional intelligence, hone you dreams, negotiate with your shadow, cure your ignorance, shed your pettiness, heighten your drive to (love) look for the best in people, and soften your heart – even as you always accept yourself for exactly who you are with all your so-called imperfections. Rob Brezsny
This may become a book report, or maybe just an observation on where my life is today and where I wish it to go? The above quote is from Pronoia is the antidote for paranoia: How the whole world is conspiring to shower you with blessings. This the full title more or less for this amazingly sometimes irreverent but always joyous, passionate language and guide to following your bliss, traveling through the maze of everyday muck into a joyful blissful experience of life. Which something I desire to do and be.
I became aware of Rob Brezeny some years ago when one the men at Easton Mt Retreat center suggested his astrology site to me. Free Will Astrology I would read the weekly report, and this is not your Mother astrology reading, these are off the wall, sometimes vague, yet always entertaining and informative. (if you’re looking for a new take on your astrology) .
My friend posted Comfortably Numb this morning on Facebook, and I resonated with the song immediately for that is what I have been experiencing in my life, now there is a negotiation with shadow, to admit such a state of being! Just going through process but not really feeling one way or another. Sometimes I say to myself, I am just being present. Is being present the lack of emotion or feeling? I always seem to have more questions than answers, one must precede the other, I think?
So the admittance of this fact of numbness is a place of surrender, a place of knowledge, and the reason for Pronoia to show up in my life more fully. I was at Barnes and Noble to meet a friend, I needed some human contact and a person I could communicate with, yet the day was an odd day, one in which I felt shifts of energy, low vibrations in another space, and even with my friend I didn’t feel completely connected as I usually do. So once she left I went to look for Jeff Brown’s Soulshaping which they did not have in stock but I had seen Pronoia on the shelf and if felt that was the sign to purchase and dive into this material. For a few day before I was reading astrology newsletter and had used a quote on my Facebook page which got some notice. “Evil is boring. Cynicism is idiotic. Fear is a bad habit. Despair is lazy. Joy is fascinating. Love is an act of heroic genius. Pleasure is your birthright. Receptivity is a superpower.” It was in the energy of those words that I reached out, that I began to search for more, I began to desire to have this language that is positive and wildly blissful be part of my life experience. So there you have it, in order not to be so darn serious, I have chosen to be heroic to experience pleasure, listen more intently to the message. No one can change me but my choice to do so, as my friend Laurie, Holistic practitioner uses as her motto or guide suggest “Follow your heart”. Wise advise.
So I leave you with another song one that I hear in my mind very often. Katy Parry’s Firework: “there is a spark in you, ignite your light … your a firework !
Growth Question: Are you comfortable numb or are you lighting up the sky like a firework?