Comfortably Numb or a Firework

Push hard to get better, become smarter, grow your devotion to the truth, fuel you commitment to beauty, refine your emotional intelligence, hone you dreams, negotiate with your shadow, cure your ignorance, shed your pettiness, heighten your drive to (love) look  for the best in people, and soften your heart – even as you always accept yourself for exactly who  you are with all your so-called imperfections. Rob Brezsny

commitment to beauty

This may become a book report, or maybe just an observation on where my life is today and where I wish it to go? The above quote is from Pronoia is the antidote for paranoia: How the whole world is conspiring to shower you with blessings. This the full title more or less for this amazingly sometimes irreverent but always joyous, passionate language and guide to following your bliss, traveling through the maze of everyday muck into a joyful blissful experience of life. Which something I desire to do and be.

I became aware of Rob Brezeny some years ago when one the men at Easton Mt Retreat center suggested his astrology site to me. Free Will Astrology  I would read the weekly report, and this is not your Mother astrology reading, these are off the wall, sometimes vague, yet always entertaining and informative. (if you’re looking for a new take on your astrology) .

My friend posted  Comfortably Numb  this morning on Facebook, and I resonated with the song immediately for that is what I have been experiencing in my life, now there is a negotiation with shadow, to admit such a state of being! Just going through process but not really feeling one way or another. Sometimes I say to myself, I am just being present. Is being present the lack of emotion or feeling? I always seem to have more questions than answers, one must precede the other, I think?

Light shine through the forrest !

So the admittance of this fact of numbness is a place of surrender, a place of knowledge,  and the reason for Pronoia to show up in my life more fully. I was at Barnes and Noble to meet a friend, I needed some human contact and a person I could communicate with, yet the day was an odd day, one in which I felt shifts of energy, low vibrations in another space, and even with my friend I didn’t feel completely connected as I usually do. So once she left I went to look for Jeff Brown’s Soulshaping which they did not have in stock but I had seen Pronoia on the shelf and if felt that was the sign to purchase and dive into this material. For a few day before I was reading astrology newsletter and had used a quote on my Facebook page which got some notice. “Evil is boring. Cynicism is idiotic. Fear is a bad habit. Despair is lazy. Joy is fascinating. Love is an act of heroic genius. Pleasure is your birthright. Receptivity is a superpower.”  It was in the energy of those words that I reached out, that I began to search for more, I began to desire to have this language that is positive and wildly blissful be part of my life experience.  So there you have it, in order not to be so darn serious, I have chosen to be heroic to experience pleasure, listen more intently to the message.  No one can change me but my choice to do so, as my friend Laurie,  Holistic practitioner  uses as her motto or guide suggest “Follow your heart”. Wise advise.

sweet fragrance

So I leave you with another song one that I hear in my mind very often. Katy Parry’s Firework: “there is a spark in you, ignite your light … your a firework !

Growth Question: Are you comfortable numb or are you lighting up the sky like a firework?

11 thoughts on “Comfortably Numb or a Firework”

  1. Jeff – That’s a lot to wrap one’s head around, whew!

    Growthe Question: Are you comfortable numb, or are you lighting up the sky like a firework?

    I can’t honestly say that I’ve ever experienced feeling numb, but I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be comfortable with it. I’m not a firework either (they fizzle out rather quickly). I’d like to think I have the soft glow of a shining star.

    “Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing.”

    Listen with your heart,

    – Laurie

    1. Laurie,
      Hey when the moment is ripe one must question the use of the product…
      You are a glow of a brightly shinning star!
      Thank you for your loving support and comments!

  2. The quote that caught my attention is “I am just being present. Is being present the lack of emotion or feeling?” There are times when I am not feeling anything in particular. When I experience a lack of emotion, often I find there is an emotion that is more subtle, more sublime, more submerged. I have combinations of emotions, none of which singularly stand out. They mix like oil paint on a canvas, creating a color inside me that is as individual as I am and will never be the same again. The firework emotions are very clear indicators of what is going on both within and without, but they require a lot of energy to sustain. The few times in my life that I have been “numb” and without any specific emotion, I have had the feeling that I was being insulated, like all of my emotions cloaked around my sensitive self to protect me until I was strong enough to bear them individually.

  3. I wish to acknowledge all the people who have been following this blog, who have read it and pressed like. Grateful for your presence!! Thank all! I will visit your blogs in the next few days!


    1. Melissa,

      Thank you so very much! I hope my blog can be used for some inspiration for you! You may also want to try The Artist’s Way if you have not already! I find it inspiring !
      Thank you for connecting to the reluctant bloger!


  4. This is the second time I came back to read this blog, Jeff. You are very brave to share yourself with such open vulnerability. I wouldn’t have thought that I was comfortably numb at all, but after engaging in the 10-week Presence Process by Michael Brown I now realize that I have never fully and unconditionally experienced emotions without a story attached. So, a certain amount of numbness was present–not a full allowing of the range of emotions which include sadness, grief, anger. I can feel any remnants of numbness dying out as I fully allow all my emotions to surface, and to allow them unconditionally, without a story. Thanks again for this blog.

    1. Kathy,

      I felt your presence! I am glad this blog resonated for you on different levels. I don’t know Michael Brown’s work but if you were drawn to it there must have been growth that you were seeking…
      You are most welcome! Thank you for the visit!

  5. Hmmm – I’m not sure if this makes any sense, but I associate numbness with depression, a shutting down and blocking out of anger and sadness which, in the process, also blocks out joy and contentment. As my therapist used to say, all those years ago, you can’t have it both ways!

    Jeff, you ask, “Is being present the lack of emotion or feeling?” I’m no expert, but my gut feeling is that the exact opposite is the case! I think this is sort of what Kathy explained so well above. To me being alive and present means experiencing all our emotions, minus baggage from the past and worries about the future. Yet the urge to recite my story keeps surfacing…

    Thanks for writing this blog and sharing so much of your journey, Jeff. I love the photo of the light shining in the forest – it’s as if we’re all a forest of trees trying to find a share of the light of understanding so we can keep growing spiritually and emotionally.

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