once you conquer
your selfish self
all your darkness
will change to light
My selfish self has been presenting it self still even when I thought I was through the muck it seems I hit another small patch that keep my mind playing tricks with me. One has to ask though how when I have the intention to write, to practice walking the walk as well as talking the talk, I end up with endless chatter, or numbness? How do I go days without writing, without opening The Artist’s Way, to speak the Basic principle and Rule of the Road, or any other piece that may enfold me in within my essence? How is it that just doing those simple steps frees the egoic self to experience its Higher Self ? What force is greater than the Higher Power? Fear, anger, not enoughness? I think not, yet I seem to allow those feelings to slap me around, lay on top of me, sitting on my chest. I am through with this behavior, I am enough, I am not afraid of the little self, I can use anger in a purposeful manner! I am through you hear me!!! Either learn the dance or leave!
Wow ! That was a powerful moment! Conquering the darkness is really not what it is about, it is about shinning the light, being in the light, Being the light itself. Not an easy task, creating harmony takes practice. Getting all the piece to fit together in a beautiful sounding song without the balance makes things go Crash, makes a lot of noise, and pulling in different directions.
I have gotten to this place before and walked away, finding fault, discovering new distractions only to desire to come back to this harmony that I begin to hear, and experience, even if only for moments of time. The purpose of The Artist Way, the Life Harmony program, the blog/pages, the reaching out creatively and socially is to add depth and balance to the song of life, the music of living.
I treated myself to an artist date on Monday to a movie, not just any movie, Avatar 3D IMAX version, I had not seen it the first time so I wished to take the opportunity to view this film as it was supposed to be viewed and created to be seen. I sat there stunned, amazed, moved, touched, sad, angry, and in Love. I sat in the theater giving myself Reiki while watching beauty and destruction dance before my eyes! I had the thought of what the Buddhist express as breathing in the suffering, and breathing out the love…
Once I got home, and I think I drove home in a state of bliss, I greeted the dogs and went for a walk, camera in hand but more importantly with a new eye, and new vision or at least a refreshed one. Even within the drought conditions beauty of nature finds a bit of water to bloom tiny little purple flowers, the golden rod burst brightly, red and yellow leaves spiral to the ground creating flashes of color in the dryness, and dropping green. Orange, and black Butterfly’s flit here and there, gathering the nectar of the few blossoms they can find, little white moths even share their glory, for a moment I walked in my own Pandora! I have experienced the oneness of nature for a long time through the lens of my camera, through the joy of my being able to experience the everyday evolution that breathes life into life. My ability to take photographs came from nature herself, for she wished to be revealed, she wished to have her beauty experienced not just by nature itself but the care takers of the planet, the people responsible for it continued evolution or its destruction. I don’t take photographs just to have pretty picture around me, I take photographs to nudge people awake, to arouse some emotions, create feelings. I use my photography to tell natures story, for her story has been lost in the everydayness of life, in the commonness, that may cause us to for get to notice the birds, or the huge beautiful tree that stands majestically in your yard or on your way to work.
I guess my artist date did more than I thought it had done, for I thought I lost the energy the film left with me. It had filled the well, inspired, embraced my creativeness to new a presence !
Growth Question: If you haven’t seen Avatar why not, and what the heck are you waiting for?
I am Love, Jeff