“Looking at God’s creation, it is pretty clear that the creator itself did not know when to stop. There is not on pink flower, or even fifty pink flowers, but hundreds . Snowflakes, of course, are the ultimate exercise in sheer creative glee. No two are alike. The Creator looks suspiciously like someone who just might send us support for our creative ventures.” The Artist’s Way
I began with this above quote because it spoke to me when I was reading it and then when I linked up the page to begin to write it felt wrong and made no sense, but with out the quote I was starting at a blank page and did not know where to being. The quotes always give me a jumping off place even if they have nothing to do with what ends up on the page. One of the rules of the road of the Artist’s Way is “Show up at the page. Use it to rest, to dream, to try.” I have been unable to do that in the past few days. At first it show up as a feeling of depression, sitting in my chest, lingering and causing energy to seep out. That was Wednesday morning, Tuesday evening I had attended a video of Eckhart Tolle, it was an interesting gathering many of the people I know from other meet up events. To me Eckhart Tolle is a boring lecturer, yet I listened sometimes with my eyes close just to hear the words and not watch the video. The discussion was about Spiritual Awakening, Tolle was not going to describe Spiritual or Awakening but express it through his talk of objective mind, being asleep, unconscious, to being awakened through no thought but action from the heart. Being in the Now. Being in the now is to have no thoughts of past or future, just being present now, what is going on right now! I realize I capture those moment more often than not, that I am very aware of my surroundings, the senses, the air, the fragrance, the energy of a space or situation.
When the video was over people were headed to the diner to eat and discuss what they had just watched, yet once I got to my car, and was alone for a moment, some jazz on the radio, I felt I did not want be in the chaotic energy of a diner and people talking over each other to make a point, past the salt, or whatever… I went home, and sense than I had linger sense of shift, once again letting go, yet not knowing what I was letting go of, and was time to move into the newness, whatever that newness maybe.
Mom left Tuesday night Wednesday morning to go back to Vermont for a few weeks, Lee her man friend drove down to pick her up. So the house has been peaceful and quiet again with the TV not being on all the time.
Wednesday I was supposed to meet up with a friend in Philly yet she got caught up with back to school stuff and her kids, we made arrangements to meet on Thursday instead. So Thursday I made a point of getting myself together and going to Philly earlier to walk around, take some photos, and wait for her call to say she was on her way. It never came, I finally called a little after two, once again she said she got caught up in school stuff and would not make in to the city. I walked about a bit to head back to the train, taking photos along the way. I went over to Delancey street which is a very up scale street of large row homes that for some reason through the years has keep it status and the homes not been sold off to landlords to use as rentals. So I thought it would be a nice photographic venture, it was okay.
Upon getting home I was exhausted, I had not been in the city more than 2 hours, yet my energy was gone. I have been trying to see if I had been eating incorrectly, and I have not really partaken of anything unusual, expect too many snacks, which we had bought at the Amish Market, the Dark Chocolate Peanuts where great but maybe eat too many, even those veggie chips most like have too much salt and some type of processing going on… Stick to the fruit Jeff.
Yesterday things finally started to shift back to “normal” when I finally began to make dinner, of Tilapia with Mash potatoes, fresh broccoli, stream with Thyme, I made a salsa of red peppers, tomatoes, mango, onions, garlic, grated ginger, fresh cilantro and fresh basil, tossed with lemon and lime, topped with toasted coconut and silvered almonds. I had not intended get that creative but once I started I was in the zone, cutting, choosing, blending…
Once dinner was over I got me self ready and when to my friends art opening on South Street in Philly. During the day I almost talked myself out of going. Yet, needed to have the experience, I wanted to see and experience what else was out there besides my little world that I create around me each day. Much of the art was innovative, very mix-media, modern, which really challenges my eye and senses, and causes me to re-think what art is and how I see and view it. Which is something I may need to do to get a new flow in my work and creativity. (Did I mention too that I have a sort of thing for the artist)… I did not linger long in on South St, I called some of the guys to see if anyone was around but I had not luck so I returned home.
I went to bed late and woke up later than usual, I try to give my sister and Jim, their space, when they are home together, so Saturday mornings is one of those times, and then just to stay out of the way so Arden can do her chores, etc. It is rather pleasant sitting in the yard, the weather has cooled off somewhat, things are little more green, plus the dogs get to be out side longer because if I go in they want to with me, to makes sure I don’t get away.
When I get out of my own way, and allow the forces to inform me, inspire me, when get out of my head and came from my heart creativity is an act of Being not doing, it just happens.
Growth Question: What informs you when you are just doing and not being?
I am Love, Jeff