…pain is what it took to teach me to pay attention. In times of pain, when the future is too terrifying to contemplate and the past too painful to remember, I have learned to pay attention to right now. In the exact now, we are all, always, all right. I am breathing in and out. Realizing this, I began to notice that each moment was not without its beauty. Julia Cameron
I had to use this above quote for I had just read in The Artist’s Way and when I open the weekly newsletter from my friend Joe Monkman there is was again grabbing for my attention, for attention is what I seek when I sit here in the yard among the trees, drying grass, still not real rain, the whistle of the locust, the light chatter of neighbors talking, while feeling the breeze blow, catch the sun ripple through the pine needles on the trees in my line of vision. All of this to get a sense of where I am, a sense of being present, a sense of I am not my thoughts that do not serve me. For the past two days I have not actually awakened with the feeling of depression but it has come upon me while walking our morning walk, sometime a fleeting thing, coming out of nowhere to linger, to capture something missed, something forgotten, I don’t know?
I have not written in two days because the mind seems to have been blank, the body needed rest, I found myself taking longer naps, yesterday afternoon I slept for a few hours when all I wanted to do is read yet reading on lasted a few moments and off I went. Heck of a way to spend my Birthday! I had thought of going to a Heart Circle/Pot Luck for it would have been a great space to celebrate yet I could not gather myself up to go. One situation is that while walking at the ponds and lake the other day, we must have come upon sand flees, at first I thought it was some kind of poison, ivy or such but it did not look like that, and I had individual marks rather than a rash other places than my ankles which is where it manifested first, so wearing shoes has become an itching situation. Other wise I would have been at the Heart Circle drinking in the juice of healing energy, and sparklely fun!
I also have come to realize I have not paid much attention to my photography, I have taken a few photographs in the past week or so down loaded them and have not really viewed them. I have only been on redbubble for short amounts of time and have not really added new work or view much of others work in the past week. I need to fill the well creatively, with sights and sounds that inspire, the infuse the artist in me.
Writing my morning pages/blog helps in many ways it allows me to see where I have been and where I think I need to be going, but also allows be to be in the moment of telling on myself.
I am extremely grateful for all the wonderful Happy Birthday wishes and blessing I received on Facebook ! I have been truly blessed, from far and wide, from people I have met and others who are old Gaia friends and new Facebook friends.
Growth Question: How do you pay attention?
I am Love, Jeff