As we come to trust and love our internal guide, we lose our fear of intimacy because we know longer confuse our intimate others with the higher power we are coming to know. The Artist’s Way p. 96
Learning to trust my internal guide once again allows me to step up to my own personal intimacy with love of self and Love of who and what I show up in the world as or showing by being in the world.
I have decided to move on the chapter 5 of The Artist’s Way this chapter we get to work on Recovering the Sense of Possibility where we explore our limits, our own self limiting limits. I believe I have already begun that phase in some ways. When I discovered that I could come outside to read and to write while the house is abuzz with people and TV. I don’t chose to blame them I choose to explore and create other options. Finding that I can connect on the laptop outside has to be a true blessing. For morning writing of my blog/morning pages.
Another area we are to look at is what Julia Cameron calls Virtue Trap, that place in which we give up our time and space to give to others when we need time for ourselves. Finding that we become resentful of situations and others for not allowing ourselves to take the time. There has been many times, that I didn’t go to meetings or classes, etc, either because I did not want to take the time to drive or spend the money, and another is that I had to make dinner. A task I have taken on because I am home as well as I can be assured of the quality of the meal I am preparing for myself and others. Yet I found myself a few times resentful that I had not gone here or there because I had not made dinner earlier for the family when they get home. I also have not taken the opportunity on a few occasions because I was concerned what “they” would think if I went out that much, since money is tight and “they” might think I am being wasteful. Hmm? Interesting I have not looked at it in that way before!
The adventure of taking my mother to her friends 80th Birthday Surprise party was very synchronistic ! Plus informs me of source working in my life. After introducing ourselves around and getting comfortable while waiting for other guest and the guest of honor, we discovered that this was truly a surprise because Bette’s birthday is really in January, just after Christmas and there was not way to get everyone in the family together at that time. So a summer party to celebrate 80 1/2 Birthday for Mom by children and grandchildren was planned.
Bette and Jack where friends of my fathers, who my mother met when she started dating my father in the late 40’s. They use to meet at dances. So they have been friends for years. Glen, the middle child is my mother and fathers God Child who mom has not seen in years because he and his family live up around Pittsburg Pa. Mom has been in contact with Bette in the past year or so, I had not seen her since my Nephew Kenny’s funeral 8 years ago, this month.
So here we are all gather around, a nice in closed porch decorated in early American crafts, shabby chic rocking chair, and fabric’s in shades of red, white and blue, very played down but still apparent when looked closely. Very American Country Style.
The grandkids all held up signs when Bette came in which read Happy 80 1/2 Birthday GrandMom! To her utter surprise because she thought she was just coming to family sunday dinner. It took Bette a while to take it all in and was thrilled to she her friends there among her family!
I had been moving around taking photographs, even when I realized Glen had his own high end Canon to photograph the moments. While everyone was getting re-situated in seats, I was standing by in door way next to this women and she began to ask me if I was in photography groups, I said yes I was the South Jersey Photography Group that meets in Cherry Hill, to her surprise she said she belong to that group and well and many others. Than as we talked we come to find out that she and I were connected through her brother as well. Who I have just recently begun to become friends with through the photography group. So we chatted about this and that art and groups, how she was connected to the family, which was through the children. It has been so amazing the connectiveness of this relationship with her brother. That a few weeks ago he had met someone else I know through a Reiki group and energy healing group. Informing me to heed the signs to reconnect with these groups in a more regular way.
Growth Question: Are there signs or syncretistic moments that are informing you?
I am Love, Jeff