Self Deprivation for change

Art is a technique of communication. The image is the most complete technique of all communication. Claes Oldenburg

in the details

By mid afternoon I thought I would go mad, the challenge of being inclosed with my mom in the house with the TV flipping back and forth and the sound of inane chatter was quite maddening. The afternoon heat and humidity finally took its tool, and the air conditioner had to come back on. For the past few days we have been doing without, yet the house become hotter than the outside, moving was uncomfortable and mostly unsafe for mom even. So on came the air.

Finding out I can be outside to eat my breakfast, read my mediations to mediate on, then to be able to write within the sound of nature is a blessing I just can not pass  up. The dogs Muffin and Riley ever watchful, of wild creators in the back yards, such a squirrels and birds moving in the grass keep me amused and watchful that they don’t take off at something.

I found out that Salem County Fair has been going on since the 3rd and will end tomorrow, I am making plans to go down to set with folks of the Salem County Art League. I need to get out do something, it would be a good photo opportunity as well. Heat me damned! I will make sure I keep hydrated . Most fair grounds of these kind have buildings that are used for displays and such, so it could be that the league has a place inside?

My Dream House

I just know I need to be and do something besides what I have been doing, going to the fair would be a good Artist date. Which I have not treated myself to in while. It will be good to expend some energy socially and artistically as well.

I am struggling here to find things to write about ! The Reading Deprivation did not go well as we know. I became a TV junkie instead, and then I just went back to reading. The Artist’s Way says the “reading deprivation is a powerful tool – and a very frightening one. Even thinking about it can bring enormous rage. For most block creatives, reading is an addiction. We gobble the words of others rather than digest our own thoughts and feelings, rather than cook up something of our own.” I did not find not reading frightening, I found it boring. I understand the purpose of not reading if one does have an addiction to reading, and that being to find other things to do instead. I remember when I first went into recovery and realized I would not be going to bars anymore, those places where my social life, the fear and confusion filled my being, I was stop in my tracks, what will I do with all my time. Thank you God I learn to find other positive activities to distract me but most of all to illuminate my life in a whole new way of seeing the world. Reading Deprivation works in the same way, it opens a new door in the darken room that has been still by others thoughts and ideas. This action allows for fresh ideas to come to mind, fresh actions to inform ones daily activities. I use reading to enlighten my path, yes I usually read a fiction before bed but I have been known to read non-fiction before bed as well. Reading is only an avenue to capture my interest, to give me some direction, in a forward motion. If it did not I would not be here now writing a blog/morning pages, I would not be recovering my self, selfs. I would be the a truly block artist instead of one on a self-awareness journey.

Gray wonder!

So I just made excuses to keep on reading didn’t it? I think the whole idea is to allow us to move beyond our normal daily routine. A quote in chapter four sums it up “Eliminate something superfluous from your life. Break a habit. Do something that makes you feel insecure.” Piero Ferrucci .

In the past few days I have allow the heat to make excuses for not getting things done or going somewhere. I will break that habit today, I also need to break away from Mom being ever-present. No wonder my sister has and a melt down a week ago and shouted at us all that she would like her house back. She has been frustrated with work, and with the illness of her Father-in-law, and that Jim, he husband has been spending as much time with his father that he can to help him recover and offer support. Their lives have been upset by these events, and having us all under foot I can imagine is frustrating for them. I have ask the neighbors if I could go down to their summer place in Maryland, I did not get a no or a yes, so I will approach them once again. I could use the time away as well, I can read and write, a be alone, and meet new people, have new situations to photograph, giving my sister her house for awhile, her space…

Spirit and material

Growth Question: What do you need to deprive  yourself of to enlighten your path?

I am Love, Jeff


10 thoughts on “Self Deprivation for change”

  1. What do you need to deprive yourself of to enlighten your path?

    This week I have given up my checkbook, bank card, and main credit card, paid everything off, and will commit to use cash only after 32 years of using credit cards mainly for all my purchases. This is mainly because my husband has caused a stink every month for 25 years on the same accounts…..I am entirely sick of listening about it and wonder what else he will have to complain about. I choose to change, as it is apparent he will not, and at this point in my marriage, leaving is really not the best option.

    I am really going out on a limb with this one, with all the talk about simplicity and such. I am also challenging myself in a way that I never thought I could have even thought of in the past. I love shopping, finding deals, seeking unusual things, etc etc etc, however now I have come to a point in my life when I am realizing that maybe it was and is an uniusual emotional need that is done mor ewhen my emotions are down and in need of some kind of healing, as shopping can be, I want to try to effect that in a way to be more disciplined and deliberate with my thoughts and plans. It is in my life almost an addiction that I will have to battle every minute and i hope this will somehow enlighten my path, or at least challenge it a little.


    1. Kim,

      Giving up your and cards is a big step! I think you still may need your checkbook, just to keep track…
      You path seems to be opening up for you! I encourage and support you as you walk this path!

      I am Love, Jeff

  2. Jeff – The idea of keeping your dream home clean turned my knees to water. There’s just no way! I suppose, however, that the person who could afford that home, could also afford to have it cleaned. I would live in it empty (I love space) and thoroughly enjoy the windows.

    I’m so glad you’re heading out to the Salem County Fair. I looking forward to seeing your photographs and reading about it from your perspective.

    I hope that you can take advantage of your neighbor’s home-away-from-home. That would make a very nice change for you. Would Muffin and Riley come with you?

    Growth Question: What do you need to deprive yourself of to enlighten your path?

    I already did it — red licorice 🙂

    1. Too too fun, Never thought about keeping it clean. Of course you are correct if I can afford a house like that, I think I would have help!
      This house was once someone’s Mansion it is now an apartment building. I came across it years ago, it is in the Art Museum Area north of center city…

      Yes I forgot about your “red licorice” addiction. I hope Kim doesn’t bring you more!

      I am Love, Jeff

  3. I think, when we’re around people a lot, we need to find spaces to separate, to continue with the rich rhythms of our lives, to set boundaries perhaps. I have to do this even with my husband. Say “I’ve had enough talking; I have to be alone!” Sometimes he likes it; sometimes he doesn’t. We’ve worked out a rhythm to give each other a lot of alone time–we both need it.

    I love your growth question! I quit checking my wordpress stats/hits at the beginning of August and have never felt so light, so happy, so joyous! But it almost doesn’t quite feel like deprivation. It feels like I finally “got it” –that it was more important to follow my joy and creativity than to be somehow measuring it against a number. It feels exquisite. So simple. I was so ready.

    1. Kathy,

      It does look like you have good boundary setting system in place, I think and know it is good to have your own space.
      I am glad you gave up your stats/hits and just concentrated on your blogging! One of the most prolific bloggers I know!

      I am Love, Jeff

    1. Jean,

      Geezzz ! I thought I responded to your comments days and days ago! I wonder where they went? Thank you for commenting on the building photos! Always fun to find new things to photograph!

      Thank you so much for stopping by!

      I am Love, Jeff

  4. Jeff, the growth question is very interesting: what do I need to deprive myself of to enlighten my path . . . probably self-absorption. I know I am making up for the years I lost being totally absorbed in other people (which was really self-absorption in disguise because I only took interest in them so they would give me something in return – oh woe those co-dependency issues!). Anyway, I digress. I may need to deprive myself of some old habits (taking on too much, being busy all the time) and just practice doing nothing.

    1. OMG! Barbara, here is another comment I did not respond to over a month ago! What the heck was the matter with me?

      I am glad I could be a conduit to your self examination !

      I am Love, Jeff

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