“An Affirmation is a strong, positive statement that something is already so.” Shakti Gawian
Therefore I will lead this blog/morning pages with a creative affirmation “My Creativity leads me to forgiveness and self-forgiveness.”
Because today I am going to Time Travel, making a list of old people and situations that caused doubt to my creative self-worth.
Mother Superior in Grade school
Sister who taught freshmen art
Easton Mountain Community
So here is my old enemies, written down in my Monster Hall of Fame as The Artist’s Way calls it. Then we are asked to write one of the horror stories from the “monster hall of fame”.
The Art teacher freshmen year in high school had given us a project to do for Christmas, I am not sure what the parameters were at this time. I created a soft sculptor of the Nativity with cones or cardboard support inside of old sheets/cloth that I molded and shaped as Mary and Joseph, and baby Jesus. Arranged in a sense of admiration to baby. Spray painted everything gold, until my fingers and wrist where sore. I was pretty proud of what I created, yet upon presentation the reception of my work was discussed like it was a pile of trash, unrecognizable, and a mess. I was extremely hurt and never took another art class again.
I was a child of what 13/14 years old, looking for at least encouragement and or critical review that would be constructive not destructive any drive or desire to be creative.
So my affirmation for the day is to forgive them and myself to use my creativity as a positive force to experience healing and wholeness in the art that I create and share with the world.
Laurie my Life Coach asked my some questions about a term I used on a previous blog “social hangover” . So I am going to answer her questions here, it will flesh out the meaning and the experience , I hope.
What does it (Social Hangover) mean to you–please be specific?
It means when I return to my own space, usually doing the next 24 hours I feel drained, overwhelmed, in need of quiet and self-reflection. Is there an excess too much in the company of others? Yes, too much 3, 4, 5 way conversation, energy that just whirls around, settling nowhere, yet spinning energy.
Who (typically) does it happen from–everyone you spend time with,or specific people? Not specific people in general, it is usually the amount of people around, at parties, or events that I am interacting with.
Where does it happen? As I wrote above generally in lager groups of people, where I will be interacting with them in a contain space, with a lot of conversation, talking, extraneous noise. I notice when I go to the market/food store I become somewhat distracted, confused, unable to get may bearings. I have to stop and breathe, reconnect to myself and what my purpose is there.
When did you notice this occurrence? I think I first noticed it when I began to be social sober, and a group of us use to go to a diner for dinner, the space was loud, bright, the conversations of five or six of us all going at once. I remember at the time making a comment about it afterward to a friend, that one on one conversations were a better fit for me. I than noticed it more at Easton when we had a group of 40 or so for the weekend and we where constantly in service to them, for three meals a day, interacting with them in area of hospitality . Once the event was over I had to go and seek quiet, and healing in whatever form I could find, walking in the wood, reading, sleeping.
Why does this occur? I think in a part of me is a loner, my mother says as a child I would get back in the playpen, to have my own space, my own things. I believe in someway I was meant to be a Monk. I enjoy the silence, being alone, I enjoy the space I create for myself to Be, to read, to think, to observe.
I am not sure if that really answers the questions but it was a worthy journey to walk down to vision why if feel or act in certain ways at certain situations. As a Leo one would think I would be all out there charming, getting attention, shinning brightly on those worthy of my Leo charm. Yet I am somewhat of a reserved Lion it seems. Yet the Soul Horoscope is suggesting it is time for us Leo to work on our social network, to reorganize what we want from that area of our lives. Something I really am looking into and accepting in bigger doses of time and energy.
“My Creativity leads me to forgiveness and self forgiveness”
Growth Question: Do you hear the voice of your creative enemies when beginning or working on a project?
I am Love, Jeff