Go daydream, you never know what you might amount to!
I know I am two days behind in my pages I just was not feeling in, and forcing myself to write would have been too painful. I was exhausted Friday afternoon from cutting the half an acre of yard we have that surrounds the house. The grass was ankle high from not getting out there sooner, and the rain that we have had. Even though I try to use the grass cutting as exercise, I certainly got my work out.
Then yesterday I went to the Collingswood NJ May Fair, I think this street fair is at least a mile long, in full direct Sun, from kiddie section with rides and games, to artist booths, food venders, restaurants with table service on the street, at least four stages of shifting music performances, a row of antique car at least two blocks long. All of this with thousands of people, walking, talking, eating, pushing baby strollers, walking dogs, kids being kids, a candid photographers heaven, yet I was not feeling it. I was there from 12:00 to 3:00, wandering about, shooting, looking, admiring the art, the crafts, weaving in and out of people walking while eating, tugging their children this way and that. I finely bought some hand-made soaps, after talking to a potter and considering whether I would buy myself a bowl to eat my oatmeal/Kasha from, chatted up a women I know who makes soy based candles, made a stop at the Health Food store, which I think has been on that corner in Collingswood for at least 20 years. Bundles in hand I decided I had enough the heat and the people, taken the photographs I wanted, since I was not really feeling it, I went back and purchased a nice pale blue bowl and was on my way home.
This adventure afforded me the opportunity to feed my artist. In The Artist’s Way Julia Cameron writes that this is part of the Artist’s Date, and hour or two to dwell in the space of artist, or creativity. She writes, In order to have a real relationship with our creativity,we must take the time to cultivate it. Our creativity will use this time to confront us, to confide in us, to bond with us, and to plan.” I don’t know if I had those words in mind but if felt it was important to treat myself, to hand-made, creative items, to bath and nurture may artist child.
Ok I am going to write out the contract that the Artist’s Way suggest we make with ourselves, committing to the work of the course, even though my writing the “pages” here on my blog is a commitment as well. I feel the contract will be an added incentive to stay the course, write when I am exhausted, treat myself to filling the well. Making my bond more firm.
I, Jeff Stroud, understand that I am undertaking an intensive, guided encounter with my own creativity. I commit myself to the twelve-week duration of the course. I, Jeff Stroud, commit to weekly reading, daily morning pages, a weekly artist date, and the fulfillment of each weeks tasks.
I, Jeff Stroud, further understand that this course will raise issues and emotions for me to deal with. I, Jeff Stroud, commit myself to excellent self-care-adequate sleep, diet, exercise, and pampering–for the duration of the course.
Jeff Stroud, May 30, 2010
Tomorrow, I will begin the tasks, exercises, artist dates that are required for chapter one Recovering the Sense of Safety . Where I will begin to face the shadow artist, face my stories, face my fears, allow myself to daydream, to explore who taught me what and how I came to my understanding and fear of being an artist. Creating a place of safety. Much of this work I have done, with my spiritual journey and recovery from alcohol, as well as re-discovery of who I really am.
I was awed yesterday evening during our walk and again this morning at 6 am within our little wood that Muffin, Riley, and I venture through several times a day. First yesterday evening after getting home from all the chaos of the May Fair, it was a relief to be surrounded by trees, the smell of grass, earth, wood, plant life caressing my body as I walked, breathing, inhaling, be grateful every step of the way.
There in the clearing of sorts where the two streams meet I heard and saw once again the flapping of wings, I assumed it was the Red-tail hawk but when I really looked it was an Owl, big one, it flew up in the tree some distance away, my 55 mm camera could hardly pick it out from the angle, yet I tired, than it flew off as I approached, still not a good shot… darn!
Than this morning in almost the same area but in the stream that comes from the run off, I hear a noise, I look down and there is a snapper turtle headed for the stream to hide under the water. These creatures are not usual for around this parts, snappers would come up to lay eggs in the sand of the volley ball court at Easton Mt and we would find the babies in the spring going back to the pond, tiny things no bigger the a quarter. So to my surprise when I saw this fellow heading into the stream.
I have never seen an owl in the wild and who would have thought in suburbia NJ, and there it was. Oh yeah another awesome sight was the beams of light shinning through the trees created by the morning fog this morning.
I have sought for sometime to catch this moment on camera, and I am usually too late, or the fog just doesn’t wish to stream up correctly. This morning behold, in two different spots in my little wood, I was graced with those sights! How grateful I am!
I am Love, Jeff