Daydreaming/Reality

Gerbera Daisy

Go daydream, you never know what you might amount to!

Front Lawn looking into the side back yard

I know I am two days behind in my pages I just was not feeling in, and forcing myself to write would have been too painful. I was exhausted Friday afternoon from cutting the half an acre of yard we have that surrounds the house. The grass was ankle high from not getting out there sooner, and the rain that we have had. Even though I try to use the grass cutting as exercise, I certainly got my work out.

Street Fair!

Then yesterday I went to the Collingswood NJ May Fair, I think this street fair is at least a mile long, in full direct Sun, from kiddie section with rides and games, to artist booths, food venders,  restaurants with table service on the street, at least four stages of shifting music performances, a row of antique car at least two blocks long. All of this with thousands of people, walking, talking, eating, pushing baby strollers, walking dogs, kids being kids, a candid photographers heaven, yet I was not feeling it. I was there from 12:00 to 3:00, wandering about, shooting, looking, admiring the art, the crafts, weaving in and out of people walking while eating, tugging their children this way and that.  I finely bought some hand-made soaps, after talking to a potter and considering whether I would buy myself a bowl to eat my oatmeal/Kasha from, chatted up a women I know who makes soy based candles, made a stop at the Health Food store, which I think has been on that corner in Collingswood for at least 20 years. Bundles in hand I decided I had enough the heat and the people, taken the photographs I wanted, since I was not really feeling it, I went back and purchased a nice pale blue bowl and was on my way home.

This adventure afforded me the opportunity to feed my artist. In The Artist’s Way Julia Cameron writes that this is part of the Artist’s Date, and hour or two to dwell in the space of artist, or creativity. She writes, In order to have a real relationship with our creativity,we must take the time to cultivate it. Our creativity will use this time to confront us, to confide in us, to bond with us, and to plan.”  I don’t know if I had those words in mind but if felt it was important to treat myself, to hand-made, creative items, to bath and nurture may artist child.

Ok I am going to write out the contract that the Artist’s Way suggest we make with ourselves, committing to the work of the course, even though my writing the “pages” here on my blog is a commitment as well. I feel the contract will be an added incentive to stay the course, write when I am exhausted, treat myself to filling the well. Making my bond more firm.

I, Jeff Stroud, understand that I am undertaking an intensive, guided encounter with my own creativity. I commit myself to the twelve-week duration of the course. I, Jeff Stroud, commit to weekly reading, daily morning pages, a weekly artist date, and the fulfillment of each weeks tasks.

I, Jeff Stroud, further understand that this course will raise issues and emotions for me to deal with. I, Jeff Stroud, commit myself to excellent self-care-adequate sleep, diet, exercise, and pampering–for the duration of the course.

Jeff Stroud, May 30, 2010

Tomorrow,  I will begin the tasks, exercises, artist dates that are required for chapter one Recovering the Sense of Safety . Where I will begin to face the shadow artist, face my stories, face my fears, allow myself to daydream, to explore who taught me what and how I came to my understanding and fear of being an artist. Creating a place of safety. Much of this work I have done, with my spiritual journey and recovery from alcohol, as well as re-discovery of who I really am.

I was awed yesterday evening during our walk and again this morning at 6 am within our little wood that Muffin, Riley, and I venture through several times a day. First yesterday evening after getting home from all the chaos of the May Fair, it was a relief to be surrounded by trees, the smell of grass, earth, wood, plant life caressing my body as I walked, breathing, inhaling, be grateful every step of the way.

There in the clearing of sorts where the two streams meet I heard and saw once again the flapping of wings, I assumed it was the Red-tail hawk but when I really looked it was an Owl, big one, it flew up in the tree some distance away, my 55 mm camera could hardly pick it out from the angle, yet I tired, than it flew off as I approached, still not a good shot… darn!

Mr Owl

Than this morning in almost the same area but in the stream that comes from the run off, I hear a noise, I look down and there is a snapper turtle headed for the stream to hide under the water.  These creatures are not usual for around this parts, snappers would come up to lay eggs in the sand of the volley ball court at Easton Mt and we would find the babies  in the spring going back to the pond, tiny things no bigger the a quarter. So to my surprise when I saw this fellow heading into the stream.

I have never seen an owl in the wild and who would have thought in suburbia NJ, and there it was. Oh yeah another awesome sight was the beams of light shinning through the trees created by the morning fog this morning.

Streams of Light!

I have sought for sometime to catch this moment on camera, and I am usually too late, or the fog just doesn’t wish to stream up correctly. This morning behold, in two different spots in my little wood, I was graced with those sights! How grateful I am!

I am Love, Jeff

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7 thoughts on “Daydreaming/Reality”

  1. Jeff – I am enthralled wih the photograph of the back-lit morning owl (Mr. Owl). In the world of totems their:

    Role – Extractor of Secrets
    Lesson – Timing
    Element – Water
    Wind – West: The Quest Within
    Medicine (Energy) – Clairaudience (able to hear what is not spoken)
    Keywords – Insight into the shadow self; feminine power, protection of the unseen, sister to Red-Tailed Hawk, harbinger of new cycles

    And I’m captivated by “Streams of Light” — that is a stunning moment in time. I’m so glad you were able to capture it;not only in your heart/mind, but on film as well.

    I find it interesting that you selected the “nice, pale blue bowl.” Light blue is associated with the throat chakra: Self-Expression, Creativity, and Environmental Wellness. The shadow side is Self-Repression. It’s great that you will be ingesting food from a bowl that emits the frequency that enhances (boosts) the positive characteristics of that energy center, and goes a long way toward protection from the shadow aspects.

    I thoroughly enjoyed this post Jeff, thank you.

    Laurie Buchanan
    https://holessence.wordpress.com/

    1. Laurie, at times I could use all those powers of Owl We discover he is a great horned owl which are big suckers.
      How I was attracted to that color bowl and that particular artist work. I have begun to use my voice once again, with more clarity, more surety so that could be the attention and or healing that my throat chakra was asking for!

      I was so wowed to get these photographs of streaming light that I had to stop and collect myself… I can feel that moment now once again.

      I am Love, Jeff

  2. Jeff, your photos are quite striking (even though you weren’t “feeling it”); I spent yesterday taking photos of bonsai trees with a little bitty Nikon. I wasn’t going for effect, just memories. I think that the space of not feeling like you want to do what you think you should want to do and/or enjoy doing is a place of change. It is a space where you are open to looking at what might be in your way, what you might be ignoring, what is ready to be resolved, and all of that. I think Julia Cameron’s 12-week immersion in self is fairly strenuous. I tried it once and could not complete it — I let life distract me, and I think that is part of the exercise and learning. You have owl and turtle as your totems (I also have turtles; bald eagle is my other totem). They are very complementary. Laurie gave you the owl in her response; the turtle is connected to motherhood, longevity and awakening to opportunities; the turtle is known sometimes as the keeper to the doors of fairies and fairy rewards; turtles have amazing survival skills and techniques; if a turtle shows up in your life, the questions to ask are: are you not seeing what you should? are you not hearing what you should? A snapping turtle is specifically associated with the ability to grab and use the mouth and all associated voices, sound, and digestion in new ways; turtles can use their powerful neck and head to right themselves if they are turned over — a reminder to use your own head and knowledge to right yourself when your world gets topsy turvy; turtle’s slow metabolism is an indicator that life may becoming too hectic, not taking time for yourself, so busy that you can’t really see what is going on, are you going too slow and need to pick up the pace; if a turtle has shown up, it is time to get connected to your most primal essence, go into your shell and come out when your ideas are ready to be expressed (this is all from Ted Andrews’ book Animal Speak). It sounds to me like you are in a great place to begin your next adventure.

  3. Barbara,

    “the questions to ask are: are you not seeing what you should? are you not hearing what you should? A snapping turtle is specifically associated with the ability to grab and use the mouth and all associated voices, sound, and digestion in new ways;” I will keep these questions in mind when wandering about in there… and this goes with what Laurie wrote about my buying myself a light blue bowl to eat my breakfast out of, she wrote, “I find it interesting that you selected the “nice, pale blue bowl.” Light blue is associated with the throat chakra: Self-Expression, Creativity, and Environmental Wellness. The shadow side is Self-Repression. It’s great that you will be ingesting food from a bowl that emits the frequency that enhances (boosts) the positive characteristics of that energy center, and goes a long way toward protection from the shadow aspects.” There seems to be some connection, awareness and consciousness are keeping an open view of this.

    Thank for sharing Ted Andrews work with me, I do have his book which is packed away in storage, and difficult to find… so doing that research for me helped a lot!

    I am Love, Jeff

  4. It is good reading of your day(s), Jeff. Your artist’s date sounded wonderful! As you know, I did the Artist’s Way with three friends last year. It was very fruitful. As always your photographs are beautiful. Your little yellow flower looks a bit like the one I just posted, doesn’t it? Sending you love this Memorial Day!

  5. You really make it seem so simple with your presentation but I find this topic to be truly something which I think I would never realize. It seems too complicated and really broad for me. I am searching forward for your next publish, I will try to obtain the hang of it!

    1. Trendy,

      I just found your response in my spam file. There is no situation in life that is impossible only our ability to bring it forth. I hope you have read other post, and have seen some value in my journey.

      I am Love, Jeff

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